How does Tom Brady like his soda?

Flat.

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Why'd the factory worker hate their job?

Because it was soda pressing.

What do you call a soda in love?

A Crush

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What's Tom Brady's favorite sport?

Softball.

What's the difference between Tom Brady and Ben Roethlisberger?

Tom wants his balls illegally deflated on the field and Ben wants that off the field.