Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.

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How do you shoot a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun. You hold his trunk until he turns blue, then you shoot him with the blue elephant gun Edit: My 5 year old nephew loves this joke.

How are PCs different from woman?

I know how to turn a PC on.

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What food do all basketball players hate?

Turnover.

Why did Beethoven hate Mozart?

Because Mozart stabbed him in the Bach.

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Why does everyone hate me?

I texted with the clicky keyboard sound turned on.

How can you tell if you're texting with a dyslexic pervert?

You get this: ===D==8=