How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it's half empty.

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What's the difference between a musician and a bag of rice?

The bag of rice can feed a family of four.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

Why does Ed Miliband like advent calendars?

Because it's his only chance to open the door to Number 10!

How do mob boss mules open doors?

With Don-keys.

Push Jokes More Push Jokes

What's black and white and black and white and black and white and black and white?

A Penguin rolling down a hill What's black and white and laughing The penguin who pushed him

Why'd the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?

Tequila.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

Which country's currency weighs as much as it's worth?

Australia. Because five $0.20 coins are about half a pound.

Why did the door to door sales man get nervous and run away?

He was selling In-Security Heh yeah i dunno i thought it up in a dream and I'm still half asleep bye

Realize Jokes More Realize Jokes

Why was Amazon angry after their conference with Samsung?

After taking Notes, they realized their was no way they could sell the Fire.

Why did the guy cut a hole in his carpet?

He wanted to watch the floor show. And why did he cover it back up ...He realized that he didn't want to watch the "hole" show.

Chip Jokes More Chip Jokes

How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

Why do Kenyans always win marathons?

At the end, they get a bag of chips and a Coke. -My dad told me this joke when we went to a race-