When I walked to the register with the condoms the clerk asked "Would you like a bag?

I replied "No, she's not that ugly"

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Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What about the two old ladies who brought a bottle of whiskey to the baseball game?

At the bottom of the fifth the bags were loaded.

What's the difference between a bag of sugar and a dead baby?

I don't use sugar in my signature cookies.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why is the Kentucky Derby run in a circle?

They like horsin' around.

What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What's the shortest Tom Cruise joke?

He walks into a bra.

Whatcha doing on the PC?

Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT ! D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the black dude say when his hippie girlfriend asked him to go to burning man with her?

Namaste here

What did the Morman say when asked what kind of wives he wanted?

Brigham Young"

Register Jokes More Register Jokes

Why couldn't Marco Rubio register on a web forum?

The website required him to prove that he is not a robot.

Why do people hesitate before registering as an organ donor?

It takes guts.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

Why don't gypsies use condoms ?

They have crystal balls so they see it coming.

What are the most useless items ever invented?

A: Condoms. If you need one, she's too old.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

Why did the hunter scold his blonde wife after she shot a moose over quota?

Cause when he asked her why she shot it, she replied: "I asked it what it was before I shot. But that cow wasn't gonna fool me!"

How's your head?

Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."

Clerk Jokes More Clerk Jokes

What did the clerk say to the customer who tried to buy a candy bar with plastic quarters?

This is non-cents!

How long does it take to fly to Boston?

The clerk said "Just a minute..." "Thank you" the man said and hung up.