The family size.
The clam before the storm!
How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)
There's only like 7 things in life easier than cutting up fruit and one of them is farting.
Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well
Your parents would know!
A: Condoms. If you need one, she's too old.