Whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it, I don't know what to do?

Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them....

Previous Random Joke Next

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the best part about having a blind partner?

You know they won't be seeing other people.

Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's that in the bag?

An AK-47." "No next to that." "A bag of cheetos." "You can't bring that into the movie."

Why did the chicken jump into the bag of popcorn?

The kernel was looking for him.

Son Jokes More Son Jokes

Why, Prince Stephen?

Son: Because you call me "Prince S" King: Haha yeah that never gets old

How would you like to make a donation to our local orphanage?

Dad: yea sure yells up to me son, you live with this guy now!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?

I'm paw !

What is Batman's favorite thing to do with his money?

Make it Wayne.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What did the man say after Michael Jackson stole his coat?

Hey that's mycoat Jackson!

Why do you never play uno with a mexican?

Because they will steal all the green cards.

Husband Jokes More Husband Jokes

How are husbands like lawn mowers?

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.

What size bed comfortably fits a married couple?

Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?

He touched the beaker before it was cool.

What time was it when Jared got fired?

When the big hand touched the little hand

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

How does a lawyer sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other. Credit: Nicholas Sparks from his book 'See Me' which I am reading now.

Why are books about the social contract and demand-side economics so hard to find?

Because they're kept firmly under Locke and Keynes.