How about if I put a balloon over it?

Would you touch it then " -guy who invented condoms

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Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.

Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?

To be sure to be sure

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

How can you tell when it's time to go to bed at Michael Jacksons house?

When the big hand touches the little hand

What do you call wood-smoothing equipment that's hot to the touch?

Bernie Sanders

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

Why has no one invented a device where I can move myself around from place to place while lying in a hammock?

I remember when we used to make stuff in this lazy country!

Why did god invent patchouli?

So blind people can hate hippies too.

Balloon Jokes More Balloon Jokes

Where the hell are you going with those balloons?

4yr: I need to wee! Me: With balloons ! 4yr: Its so much fun to wee with balloons

Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon?

She would always let it go.