Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

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Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

Why do virgins never stand still?

They are used to being chaste.

What do you call a fast sheep in Ireland?

A virgin.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it in India?

7-Eleven on the dot.

Why shouldn't you tell secrets when a clock is around?

Because time will tell.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do old people often do?

Die

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

What's the difference between Jesus and the chicken that crossed the road?

Jesus died on the cross

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

What did the tree do when the bank closed?

It started its own branch

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What did David say when the tourist tried to touch him?

Don't touch my marbles.

Why did they arrest Jared Fogle at 3:15?

That's when the big hand touches the little hand.

Wound Jokes More Wound Jokes

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds. :D