Why was Jesus a virgin when he died?

Every time he touched a "wound" it closed.

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Virgin Jokes More Virgin Jokes

What Did the Muslim Terrorist Say?

Who you gota blow to get some virgins around here

What do you call an Alabama woman who can run faster than her brother?

virgin

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

What time is it when an elephant sits on your car?

Time to get a new car.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What happens when almonds die?

Diamond

Why do husbands typically die before their wives?

They want to.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why didn't Jesus cross the road?

Because you can't cross a road when your nailed to a cross

What's the difference between Tim Howard and Jesus?

Jesus had 11 guys he could depend on.

Close Jokes More Close Jokes

How do you get a hippie off your door step?

Pay for the pizza and close the door.

Why is being a politician more difficult than being a ventriloquist?

Ventriloquists have to be able to speak with their mouths closed. Politicians speak out of both sides of their mouths simultaneously.

Touch Jokes More Touch Jokes

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Disney Movies ?

Disney Movies still touch kids

What will never be read in braille?

Do not touch.

Wound Jokes More Wound Jokes

Why should you always have thyme in your first aid kit?

Because thyme heals all wounds. :D

Why doesn't Achilles have any scars?

His wounds always heel.