How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Previous Random Joke Next

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why does Vincent van Gogh always look forward to thenew year?

Because everyone wishes him a new ear.

How does every black joke start?

By looking over your shoulder!

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did the bodybuilder buy a dictionary?

Because he wanted to get more definition.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf?

In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

Where will you see yourself in 15 years?

A Mirror

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

Vampire Jokes More Vampire Jokes

Why is it difficult to punish vampires?

They can't reflect on what they've done.

What's the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?

One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why use words you don't understand in your tweets?

It just makes you look photosynthesis.

What does a 500 pound parakeet say?

TWEET!!!