When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What famous painting do cows love to look at?

The Moona Lisa!

What does a blonde put behind her ears to look attractive?

Her ankles.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist cell and a children's hospital?

Don't ask me man, I just fly the drones.

What did one ovary say to the other one?

What did one ovary say to the other one? "Did you order any furniture?" "No. Why?" asked the other. "Cause there's two nuts out there trying to deliver an organ."

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

How is Twitter like Game of Thrones?

There's 140 characters, and they are all terrible.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

What two letters do you say when you answer the phone?

LO

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What sort of underwear does the ghost of a French baker wear?

Boulangerie.

What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you?

Camembert

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What'll it be, love?

The woman replies, "I'll take a double entendre." So he gave it to her.

What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?

Sherlock replied, "Alimentary, my dear Watson."

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why have a ballroom, with no Balls?

Disney's Frozen I paused the movie to tweet this...

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel! ..... I am so sorry