When asked, 'Are you Twittering?

if I'm looking at my phone I now reply, 'No. I am not Twittering,' in a sort of flat monotone. And tweet.

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why did Horse Santa put his dentist on the naughty list?

You don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

What does a Redditor do at prom?

He looks for the punchline

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What Did MLK Say When Asked If He Suffered From Jock Itch?

I have a cream.

A grocery store cashier asked if I would like my milk in a bag.

I told her 'No, thanks. The carton works fine.'

Twitter Jokes More Twitter Jokes

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel! ..... I am so sorry

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

How can you tell if someone who's having a temper tantrum is on the phone?

You get a tizzy signal!

What do you call a doctor who is always on a phone?

An oncologist

Sort Jokes More Sort Jokes

What sort of aircraft does the Asian pilot who loves to greet people fly?

A herrocopter

Why can't random men check random women's breasts for cancel?

Because that sort of information is on a knead to know basis.

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?

He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."

What'll it be, love?

The woman replies, "I'll take a double entendre." So he gave it to her.

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why don't Game of Thrones characters tweet with Twitter?

They were ravin' with Raven.

How do you guys tweet from the toilet?

I poop with both hands.