When she read the order back to me she said, "So, you have one thick sausage, anything else?

I looked her dead in the eye and replied, "Yes, I also ordered a pizza."

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Why so angry, you cute little fella?

The penguin looks up to him and says "flight's delayed."

Pizza Jokes More Pizza Jokes

What does a Mexican use to cut pizza with?

Little Caesars!

What do you call a midget with epilepsy that makes pizza?

Little Seizures...

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How did Helen Keller break her hands?

Reading road signs at 30 MPH

What did Helen Keller say after being handed a cheese grater?

That's the worst book I ever read.

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Where's the cake?

Mom of kid: We don't believe in sugar. Me: I promise it's real. I've seen it with my own eyes.

What did Charlie Bucket say when Willie Wonka peed on him?

I've got a golden tinkle in my eye...

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

Who ordered the farts?

Then, fart.

Why are you ordering so many drinks?

The dog responds, "I've had a ruff day."

Reply Jokes More Reply Jokes

When my girlfriend asks "mom, what are you doing!?

I reply "Taxes."

What's a holocaust?

And I reply "Oh, about eleven million"