Who reads the news AND makes coffee?

Katie Keurig. (I know the setup might need some work but I just like the punchline I made up.)

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Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter?

Me 5: Me: Get some coffee

What do you call coffee made from coal?

Tarbucks.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why does Snoop Dog always smile like he knows something you don't?

Because he's been snooping around.

How do you know you're golfing with a politician?

When they get a hole-in-one they write down *zero* on the scorecard.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What kind of music does your mailman like?

Postrock/Postpunk

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

What's black and never works?

Decaf coffee.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Hell you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.

What kind of bait do you need to catch a master fish?

Super Bait

Punchline Jokes More Punchline Jokes

What do you call an organized group of people waiting to get drinks?

Punchline

Why did Bilbo Baggins die with a Erection?

Because old hobbits die hard. (Just a different Punchline)

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What's the scariest thing a blind person can read in Braille?

Danger: Do not touch"

What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and the newspaper?

Lindsay Lohan never reads the newspaper in jail, but the newspaper always reads "Lindsay Lohan in jail"

News Jokes More News Jokes

Where does a redditor get most of his news from?

The Hydraulic Press

Whats the difference between news of the US elections and Madeleine McCann?

News of the elections is getting old.

Setup Jokes More Setup Jokes

Why are setups to jokes so important?

because seven ate nine.

What's the most important part of a joke, the setup or the punchline?

To get to the other side.