Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.
Judge:why did u shoot your wife instead of shootingher lover? Sardar:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.
Caesar!
The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)
Because 31OCT == 25DEC (thank you very much)
It just makes you look photosynthesis.
That which you call your bowel movement, by any other tweet is still an odious hot mess.
