What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

Previous Random Joke Next

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why can't we feed the animals?

Wife: They'll get lazy and dependent and never, ever go away. Me: *looks warily at our kids*

Why did the husband go to jail for a crime his wife committed?

Because they finish each other's sentences

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you think we can better handle this in the future?

ME glaring at Cheryl, who took the last donut: idk, maybe don't hire Cheryl

What's the best part about living in a black family?

You never have to hear a dad joke. Edit. Just thought of this at work one day hope it's not a repost

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

Why can't we edit tweets?

Because if we could I would edit a tweet with 2,000 retweets to say "RT if you hate puppies and babies."

What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.