What do you think of my tweets?

Wife: They're all pretty terrible. Me: Don't you have ANYTHING positive to say Wife: You're consistent.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

What did the husband say to his wife when he tried pushing it in as much as he could, but it still wouldn't fit?

He said "I'm going to try on a different shoe size."

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

What do you say to a black guy selling drugs?

What did you think it would be, you racist?

Tweet Jokes More Tweet Jokes

How do Baroque composers tweet?

Through their twitter Handel! ..... I am so sorry

What do you call it again where you think of a tweet while you're offline so you have to say it out loud?

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