Mirror Jokes

Why do French tanks have rearview mirrors?

So they can see the battle.

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What does George Weasley see in the Mirror of Erised?

His reflection.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

In a mirror.

What did the cheese say when it looked in the mirror?

Haloumi!

How can you tell when an idiot's depressed?

Go stand in front of a mirror

What color are mirrors?

I don't know, let's reflect on this.

What did the cheese say to itself in the in the mirror?

halloumi

How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.

What is the best part about taking a shower?

Not being able to see yourself in the mirror afterward.

How do you get out?

You look in the mirror and see what you saw. Take the saw and saw the table in half. Two half's make a whole, go through the hole.

Why does a blonde woman close her eyes in front of the mirror?

To see how she looks like when sleeping.

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What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

What did the neckbeard say when he looked in the mirror?

M'self

What's it called when you look in the mirror and say "jesus christ I look good"?

Using the lords name in vanity

What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror?

Han Double

What job can you see yourself doing?

Inspecting mirrors

What does a dog see in the mirror?

A chair

What does cheese say to itself when taking a selfie in the mirror?

Hallooooo me!

What type of cheese can you see in a mirror?

Halloumi! (Hello me)

What do you call a twig that won't stop looking in the mirror?

A narcissistick.

Why do French tanks have review mirrors?

Because they want to see the front line too

Where do you see yourself in 10 yrs time?

Same as now - in photos and mirrors," I replied

Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?

A: A blonde tried to shoot herself!

How can you double your money?

Look at it in a mirror.

What happened when the monster kissed his one true love?

He left lip prints on the mirror!

What happens if you put a mirror in a garage?

A mirage!

How much for the mirror?

Ma'am that's the cover of Vogue

What do you get when you cross a camera with a mirror?

A: A camera that takes pictures of itself.

Why did the stoner admire himself in the mirror everyday?

Because he has a high opinion of himself

Where will you see yourself in 15 years?

A Mirror

What do me and a mirror have in common?

A.When we see your face we both crack up!

Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room?

A: So she could use it as a mirror.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see?

Me: I see myself you friggin idiot. Let me see your degree

Why did the kids tell jokes to the mirror?

They wanted to see it crack up!

Why did the invisible man look in the mirror?

To make sure he still wasn't there.

How much for the supermodel?

winks seductively "Ma'am, that's a mirror and you appear to be having a stroke."

Why didn't the paraplegic look in the mirror?

He couldn't stand to see himself like that.

What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ?

My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

How do Vampires buy pants if they can't look in a mirror?

Now, I tweet them

Where's the best place to look for a joke?

The mirror

Why did the mirror have holes in it?

A: A moron kept trying to shoot himself.

Why should you never disturb a mirror?

Because they are always reflecting.

What's worse than getting 7 years of bad luck from breaking a mirror?

Getting a lifetime of bad luck from breaking a condom.

What goes "krab krab krab"?

A: A dog barking in a mirror.

How does Dracula get his hair so perfect without a mirror?

Oh questions about the job No I'm good."

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Close Jokes More Close Jokes

Why did the boy close his eyes before opening the refrigerator?

He didn't want to see the salad dressing.

Why wasn't the fella able to get out when he fell in the river?

Cause it was on a Sunday and the banks were closed

French Jokes More French Jokes

How do the French defend a city?

We don't know, they've never tried it.

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

Han Jokes More Han Jokes

What do Han and Chewbacca use to communicate?

A wookiee talkie.

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What do you use to transport pittas?

A flatbread truck

Which machine at the gym should I use to impress beautiful women?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine" c/o /u/jubileo5

See Jokes More See Jokes

How did the blind carpenter regain his eyesight?

He picked up his hammer and saw.

What has teeth but no mouth?

A comb or a saw.

Lord Jokes More Lord Jokes

What do you call an Irish snake in Lord of the Rings?

Legolas

What does the lord say when the intern messes up?

God demi

Halloumi Jokes More Halloumi Jokes

What type of cheese can you see in a mirror?

Halloumi! (Hello me)

Which cheese is schizophrenic?

Halloumi

Eye Jokes More Eye Jokes

Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?

A: They don't have balls to scratch.

What is a ram's favorite song on February 14th?

I only have eyes for ewe, dear