Han Jokes

What do you call miscellaneous members of Han Solo's best friend's family?

Rando Calrissians

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Which Star Wars character was arrested for drunk driving?

Han Solo. Because he took a shot first.

How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone?

A Hans free device

What did the handicapped racecar driver say?

I have no Hans"

How long does it take Han Solo to screw in a light bulb?

less than twelve parsecs.

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.

How many babies does it take to stop a puck?

Ask Subban from the Hans to find out

Who Shot First? Boba Fett or Jango Fett?

Han Solo

Why does C-3PO always tell Han the Odds?

Because he can't even.

What do Han and Chewbacca use to communicate?

A wookiee talkie.

What did Han Solo say when Leia asked for help with a crossword clue?

I don't know

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Why did the Millennium Falcon hot a tree?

Because Han was flying so low.

What does Han Solo see looking into the mirror?

Han Double

Why did Harrison Ford Crash his plane?

because he was flying solo and went look no hans...

What do you call a terrible performance of Han Solo: The Musical?

A rebel without applause.

How did Han Solo enter the world?

On the perineum falcon!

Why was Leia disappointed on her wedding night?

Han shot first.

Why is Han Solo a loner?

Because he's solo.

What did Luke say at Han and Leia's wedding?

May divorce be with you

Why was Han yelling at Chewbacca on their first day on the Millenium Falcon?

Because Chewie was making too many wookie mistakes!

What do you call a Harrison Ford one man show?

A Han Solo performance.

What does Leia say when she needs help?

I think I could use a Han here.

What is Harrison Ford called when he smokes weed?

Han So-high.

What did Han.... Tell Leia after they separated?

May Divorce be with you.*

What happened to Han when Chewie wouldn't do the marathon?

He Ran Solo...

Why did Han go out Black Friday shopping.?

because the prices were Solo

How does Han Solo like to get around Endor?

Ewoks

What does Han Solo call a sick Chewbacca?

A Chewie

How's Skywalker?

Han: He was nearly frozen when I found him. Leia: And, now Han: Lukewarm. Leia: ... Han: Hehehe

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Who is ISIL's favorite Star Wars character?

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How do you know when the Star Wars characters are safe?

Because they got Chewbacca

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Knock Knock. Who's there? Beaver E! Beaver E who?

Beaver E quiet and nobody will find us!

How did the blind priest find the choir boys?

Satisfying.

Arrest Jokes More Arrest Jokes

How many US cops does it take to change a lightbulb?

None, they arrest the room because it's black.

Why did the belt get arrested?

Because it held up a pair of pants. I'll show myself out.

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What do you call a family of redheads?

Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: "Ginger-bred" instead.

What helps keep your teeth together?

Toothpaste.

Phone Jokes More Phone Jokes

Why would I want to talk to your baby?

On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.

What did the Gorilla say to his friend when he called him back on the phone?

You-Rang-a-Tang

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What two things should people stop shaking because shaking hurts these things development?

Polaroid Integral Film and Babies

How are babies different from feminists ?

Babies grow up and stop crying

Shot Jokes More Shot Jokes

How do you hit 20 flies in one shot?

Hit an Ethiopian in the head with a frying pan.

How much did Harambe drink in the bar?

Just a couple of shots

Petrify Jokes More Petrify Jokes

What happened to the dinosaurs that first was aware of the metheorite?

The where petrified.

What was Han Solo's reaction to being taken to the carbon-freezing chamber?

He was petrified.