What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ?

My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why were the 2 in love melons upset?

Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)

Why did the stoner take his wife to court?

He wanted to get joint custody.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What did the light bulb say to the switch?

You turn me on."

What happens when Kim Jong-un gets sick?

He turns into Kim Jong-ill!

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What, why?

is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god

What looks like celery, tastes like celery, but isnt celery?

Artificial celery

Mirror Jokes More Mirror Jokes

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

How do you react when looking in the mirror?

You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.