My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
Because they cantaloupe. (The wife thought of this one... hopefully nobody else has posted it)
He wanted to get joint custody.
You turn me on."
He turns into Kim Jong-ill!
is it my hair Her: no Me: MY LOOKS! Her: no, it's your personality Me: oh thank god
Artificial celery
I can see my shelf"
You cry because you shoved a cactus up your peckar.