What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What did the man say when he ran out of clothes?

Oh dear, it seems I'm shirt on clothes.

Why are men the best chefs?

Because with only 2 nuts, one sausage, and a little bit of milk, they can fill a woman's stomach for 9 months.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What's the difference between bacteria and rednecks?

When looking at bacteria you can actually find some culture.

Where is your unicorn?

Me: I don't have a unicorn. A: You better get naked and go into that Arby's and look for it anyway. M: Ok.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Where's the fire ma'am?

grips lighter* "I'm not sure yet"

What do you call a woman who sets all her money on fire?

Bernadette!

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

What did the type setter sing while he worked?

I shot the seriff, but I did not shoot the deputy!

What is the difference between Elliot Rodgers and Malaysia Airlines?

Malaysia Airlines only has been shot down once.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What did the blonde customer say after reading the buxom waitress's name tag?

A: "What did you name the other one "

How did Helen Kellers parents punish her?

They gave her a basketball and told her to read.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What's the difference between a man who owns a gun and a man who owns a bank?

A man with a gun can rob a bank. A man with a bank can rob the world. (Disclaimer: reword of someone else's post to FB today.)

Which gun does Superman use?

SCAR-L

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

What do you give an alligator who is having trouble hearing?

A gator-aid. Bet you did see that one coming:P

What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

Manual Jokes More Manual Jokes

Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"