What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

Why did the man lost in the woods catch fire?

He was heading west.

Why didn't the man go to dat place?

Cuz dis-place-ment a lot to him.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

How can you tell an extrovert mathematician from an introvert mathematician?

An extrovert mathematician will be looking at the other guy's shoes.

How can you double your money?

Look at it in a mirror.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What time was it when Jared got fired?

When the big hand touched the little hand

Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

Shoot Jokes More Shoot Jokes

Why did Mickey Mouse get shot?

A: Because Donald ducked.

Why do people shoot up schools?

Because it increases the average IQ of the world. It's a public service.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why does Helen Keller wear tight pants?

So you can read her lips!

Where would an eccentric beverage go if it wanted to watch married couples fight and read high quality humor columns?

A: To the Drink Quirks Wed Fight.

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

What did the American vet did when he came to back from Vietnam?

The guns wasn't in the horse fixing resume!"

Who wants two tickets to the gun show?

I bought the Groupon but can't make it :(

Trouble Jokes More Trouble Jokes

Why did the packaged green onion get into trouble?

Because it was a wrapped scallion.

What do you call a boat that gives you nothing but trouble?

A woe boat.

Manual Jokes More Manual Jokes

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"