Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why don't house painters wear wedding rings on the job?

Nobody wants to marry an underemployed alcoholic.

What did Jesus want when he appeared on a piece of toast?

Miracle whip.

Christian Jokes More Christian Jokes

What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

A roamin' Catholic.

Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why do we need to die?

chickens

What time do kids need naps?

A: At whine o'clock.

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

What thoughts do Blondes have after reading these jokes?

A: None as usual... and they most likely didn't understand them either.

Who needs to watch the #SOTU when I can just read my TL?

Here's what I've learned so far: John Boehner is still orange.

Grey Jokes More Grey Jokes

What's grey and lights up ?

An electric elephant !

What do you get if you cross 50 Shades of Grey with Blurred Lines?

A greydient

Whip Jokes More Whip Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

What's the difference between your boyfriend and whipped cream?

The cream

Chain Jokes More Chain Jokes

What do blacks and bicycles have in common?

Take off the chain and both stop working. Going straight to hell :)

What's the difference between snow tires and slaves?

Slaves sing when chains are put on them. PS - im going to church today to beg for forgiveness

Torture Jokes More Torture Jokes

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

Shade Jokes More Shade Jokes

Why are the streets of France lined with trees?

So the Germans can march in the shade.

Why'd the dog sit in the shade?

He didn't want to be a hot dog!

Ana Jokes More Ana Jokes

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why can you only date girls named Ana?

because I got a tattoo that says Ana