Torture Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

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What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

Why did the CIA torture the Russian wasp?

Because he was a cagey bee agent.

How do you torture Hellen Keller?

Give her a basketball and tell her to read it.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do French people say when they don't want to see someone ever again?

Au nevoir.

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors?

Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit?

An astronut.

What did the peanut say to his wife before he left?

I'll be back in a jiffy

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Where'd you get the pig"?

Woman: "How DARE you call my dog that!" Man: "I was talking to the dog!"

Where does a dog go when his tail falls off?

The retail store

Question Jokes More Question Jokes

What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness?

How are you vealing?

What is your fee?

Lawyer says: "1000 US dollars for 3 questions." Man: "Wow - so much! Isn't it a bit expensive " Lawyer: "Yes, what is your third question "

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why is r/Jokes only text, and forbids external links?

Because black people can't be offended if they're only reading jokes.

What do animals read in zoos?

Gnus papers.

Unwilling Agnostic Jokes More Unwilling Agnostic Jokes

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic and a dyslexic?

You get someone who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question of whether or not there's a dog.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

How many feminists you need to change a lamp?

That's not funny..."

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross a frog and a rabbit?

A rabbit that says "Ribbit."

What do you get when you cross a Wurlitzer and a photocopier?

A: A reproductive organ.