Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

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Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

What happened to the Russians and Austrians at Austerlitz?

They got Napoleon Blownapart! Happy 200th Anniversary of Waterloo everyone!

How can you tell which Russian olympic spectators are actually KGB agents?

The ones with food.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How does a boat captain determine his profit?

By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)

What's the difference between... A gold fish and a mountain goat?

One mucks about the mountain. What's the difference between a police batton and a magician's wand One is used for cunning stunts.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What do you call an NSA whistle-blower spending the winter in Russia?

Edward Snowed-in

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

What do communists put in their soup?

Soviet Onions.

Torture Jokes More Torture Jokes

What do you call the feeling of being a tortured insect?

Antagony

What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an unwilling agnostic, and a dyslexic?

Somebody who stays up all night torturing himself mentally over the question whether or not theres a dog.

Peanut Jokes More Peanut Jokes

What did the pea say to the peanut?

At least you got one nut, I don't see what you're crying about.

What if I draw a peanut on her napkin?

Wife: Please go wait in the car

Cold War Jokes More Cold War Jokes

Why was it so easy to find the buried communist treasure after the Cold War?

Because X Marx the spot.

Why did the Cold War never happen?

Because Joseph was Stalin.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!