Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

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S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a kangaroo and a kangaroot?

One's a marsupial, the other's a Geordie stuck in a lift

Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?

A frog in a blender !

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding?

He heard the reception was going to be terrible...

What do you call a snowman who cons people?

A snowfake.

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What is the worst thing about getting hit in the face with PI?

It never ends.

What's the worst thing about Fridays?

Realizing it's only Tuesday.

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

What do you call a server at a funeral?

A wake-tress

How many Polish people does it take to be pallbearers at a funeral?

Seven. Six to carry the casket and one to drag the body

Honor Jokes More Honor Jokes

What's better than honor?

Inner

Why was 5 afraid of 6?

Because 6 7 8! ...(in honor of May 4th Star Wars day)...

Guest Jokes More Guest Jokes

What did the hotel clerk tell the guest with paruresis during check in?

Your in 8.

Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!