Whats the worst the thing about having to attend a funeral?

The guest of honor always shows up late!

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S Jokes More S Jokes

Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean in my mouth.

What the hell are you doing here in my white and gold dress?

No honey, it s not what it looks like."

Attend Jokes More Attend Jokes

Who's concerts cost only 45 cents to attend?

50 Cent ft. Nickelback

What do University of Miami, Florida State, and University of Florida football fans have in common?

None attended the University of Miami.

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing you're likely to find in the school cafeteria?

The food!

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

Funeral Jokes More Funeral Jokes

What does a Necrophiliac get at funerals?

Mourning Wood

What do necrophiliacs get at funerals?

Mourning wood.

Honor Jokes More Honor Jokes

How do single people honor valentine's day?

By Celibating!

What do you get when you mix a leper and a con man?

A lepercon. (In honor of Saint Patrick's day.)

Guest Jokes More Guest Jokes

What's your favourite animal joke?

I give tours at a zoo. Each tour goes for a couple of hours so it is good to engage the guests and make the tour a bit more fun. What is your favourite animal joke I can use at work?

What do you call a coast ghost that's a guest at a celebrity ghost roast?

A ghost toastie!