What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!"

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Why did Mubarak and Gaddafi get dehydrated?

They didn't want water from the Arab Spring.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

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What did the NSA agent say when the blizzard hit?

What did the NSA agent say when the blizzard hit? Looks like we're snowed in.

Why Latvian man did cross road?

Man have no chicken. All animals are die in famine. Man cross to look for potato. No potato.

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Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

Why are there so many black people in Detroit?

It's because they heard there was no jobs there.

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What's the worst thing to hear after blowing Willie Nelson?

I'm not Willie Nelson."

Why is a UTI such a bad thing?

Because it means urine trouble

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Why do doctors slap babies bums when then are born?

Because the balls fall off of the stupid ones.

What do you mean, 10?

10 what Months Weeks !" Doctor: "Nine."

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What is the worst part of a prostate exam?

Feeling the doctor's hands on your shoulders.

What's the worse thing to hear during a prostate exam?

A zip.

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What is the worst thing you want to hear from a doctor giving you a prostate exam?

Look ma, no hands!"

What color is the most metal?

Ma a