What's the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?

When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What do you call an arrogant criminal falling down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Who's there ! Anne ! Anne who ?

Anne apple just fell on my head !

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why were the breakfast potatoes running around hitting each other?

HashTag!

How is a Mexican like a cue ball?

The harder you hit 'em, the more English you get out of them.

Bad Thing Jokes More Bad Thing Jokes

What's the worst thing you can hear while taking the bus?

ALLAHUUUUUU AKBARRRR

What's the worst thing to say to a person with depression?

Don't be depressed

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's the difference between a beer and a down syndrome kid?

If you end up with a badly poured beer you can blow it's head off.

Why do honest ducks dip their heads under the water?

To liquidate their bills.

Grandma Jokes More Grandma Jokes

What did 50 cent say to his grandma when she gave him a scarf for Christmas?

Gee, you knit

Why is that cotton candy talking?

Grandma, that's Nicki Minaj.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

How does an Alzheimer's patient celebrate New Years?

Kissing strangers.

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

Lid Jokes More Lid Jokes

What would Ronald Reagan be doing if he were alive today?

He'd be scratching at the lid of his coffin yelling, "Let me out! I'm alive! Let me out!!"

What did the can say to the can opener?

A: You make me flip my lid.