How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

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Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Who doesn't like to sit in front of the fire?

A Snowman.

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What's the hardest part to cook in a vegetable ?

The wheelchair

Who's there? Orange. Orange who?

Orange you glad I painfully waited until I was done cooking your food to take a poop?

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What does it take to make Mother Russia pregnant?

A soviet seamen

Why do most people from Russia wear track suits?

Because they are Russin'

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What sound does a dying Turkey make?

Coup coup coup

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

What do communists put in their soup?

Soviet Onions.

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

Why do asians squint all the time?

Because nukes are so bright

What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!

What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia?

M'otherland"