How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

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Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What Did The Idiot's Friend Say To The Other Idiot's Friend, After The Idiot Lit Herself On Fire?

She's Bright...

What do you call ten thousand pastors setting themselves on fire in protest of marriage equality?

A good start.

Cook Jokes More Cook Jokes

What do chefs do when they are cooking in an emergency?

They take drastic measures.

What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

Why couldn't Germany win a world war?

Because they'd Russia lot

Why are firetrucks red?

You see, firetrucks have 4 wheels, can carry 8 men and 4+ 8 = 12. There are 12 inches in a ruler and Queen Elizabeth was a ruler. There was once a ship named Elizabeth that sailed the seas. Fish live in the seas and fish have fins. People from Finland are called Fins. Finland and Russia had a war a long time ago. Russia has red on its flag and that's why they're red. Cause they're always russian around.

Turkey Jokes More Turkey Jokes

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey."

When dad Waits to see you on thanks giving Son:We just Ate Dad:OK so you can be here at 5?

Son:We'll see Son:how does the turkey smell Dad : I guess through its Beak

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

Nuke Jokes More Nuke Jokes

What's the difference between a puppy and a kernel of corn?

Nothing. They both explode when nuked in the microwave.

Why is there no volume control on the microwave?

Must it always wake the entire house when I'm trying to quietly nuke the last of the pizza

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!