How many Soviets does it take to change a light bulb?

None! In Soviet Russia, light bulb changes you!

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Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many drummers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: None. They have a machine that does that now.

Why do you have to pee so quickly after you start drinking beer?

Because it doesn't have to stop off to change color!

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many LA cops does it take to change light bulb?

Six. One to do it and five to smash the old bulb to splinters.

How many ladybugs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.

Russia Jokes More Russia Jokes

What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Where does Russia get its water from?

De-stalinization plants

Soviet Jokes More Soviet Jokes

How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

What do you call the cook on a Soviet battleship?

The khrushchev

Soviet Russia Jokes More Soviet Russia Jokes

What fabric is worn in Soviet Russia?

Linen

What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia?

M'otherland"