What happens when the USSR gets back together?

A Soviet Reunion.

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What Happened when the girl sat on Lance Armstrong's lap?

She had a ball

What happens when you put a condom inside another condom?

Conception

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What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?

Because they don't understand CAPitalism

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What's USSR favourite Pink Floyd's Album?

The Wall. pls don't pitchfork me

How'd the date go?

Not good. Too many red flags. *Flashback to her house being covered with USSR flags* I think she might be a communist.