What happens when the USSR gets back together?

A Soviet Reunion.

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What happened to the car-salesman who was spamming in r/Germany?

He got autobahned

What happened to the muslim who smoked weed?

They got stoned

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How do they cook a turkey in Russia?

They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!

Why do Soviets use lowercase letters?

Because they don't understand CAPitalism

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Why did the USSR have such a bad air force?

They kept Stalin.

Why didn't the USSR get anything done?

They were Stalin