Christian Jokes

What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

Christian Bale.

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Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?

Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

What do you call a greedy Christian?

A moreman.

Whats the Difference between an Atheist, a Christian and a Dog?

DogMa

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car?

A convertible.

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What is the difference between a Muslim baby and a Christian baby?

Their parents.

What's a Christian's favourite guitar chord?

G-sus

How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes?

The A-Men

Why can't you checkmate a christian?

Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.

Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?

Episcopaleontologists

What does a dyslexic Christian worship?

Dog

What do you get when you cross a dove and a serpent?

A Christian...

What do you call an all guy Christian party?

A suseJ fest

What do you call a christian crawdad?

A Prayfish.

What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty?

Faith lifts

What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party?

A cross-dresser.

What do you call a Batman that leaves church before its over?

A Christian Bale

What does a Christian terrorist say before blowing up?

JESUS HALLELUJAH

How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb?

nun

What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism?

A Christian bail.

What do you call Batman skipping church?

Christian bail.

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?

Because they can lie about their age!

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why did batman leave church?

Because Christian Baled

What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?

They may have a Christian Bale in them.

How do I big it?

Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.

Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian?

Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out

What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?

A couple of steps closer to their final destination.

What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

A Christian bail

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

Christian Bale.

Why do Christian figureheads not like science?

Because it's about two Adams bonding.

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

Poison by Christian Dior !

What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

A roamin' Catholic.

What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

Christian bail.

What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

A: Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

Who was the nose's favorite Christian mystic?

Nostrildamus

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How does a black woman know that she's pregnant?

The baby starts picking cotton off her tampons. (aaannnd i'll see myself out)

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb?

I don't care. You pick

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why couldn't the hunter cook breakfast?

The game warden found out he poached his eggs!

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

What do flies do at church?

Flyspray

What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

Christian bail.

Judaism Jokes More Judaism Jokes

What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism?

A Christian bail.

What's the difference between Christianity and Judaism?

Christians pay for their sins

Mormon Jokes More Mormon Jokes

What do you call an alcoholic Mormon?

An oxymormon

How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?

Ten. One to actually change the lightbulb and nine to bring refreshments

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What did iodine say to Xenon when caesium died?

Well, I guess we better Barium.

What do you call a bee that never dies?

A zomBEE!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What is worse than a dog howling at the moon?

Two dogs howling at the moon.

What did the dog say to the two trees?

Bark bark.

Christian Terrorist Jokes More Christian Terrorist Jokes

What does a Christian terrorist say before blowing up?

JESUS HALLELUJAH

How do you pick out the Christian Terrorist out of a crowd?

Find the guy wearing a rebel flag.