Christian Jokes

What do you call it when Batman skips church..?

Christian Bale.

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Why does KFC only sell christian chicken?

Because the muslim ones are on the no-fry list.

What's it called when Batman walks out of church?

Christian Bale Hah

Whats the difference between a Christian and a Muslim?

One blows up kids, the other gets blown by them.

What do you call a greedy Christian?

A moreman.

Whats the Difference between an Atheist, a Christian and a Dog?

DogMa

What do you get when you cross an atheist and a christian?

An argument

Which chord is essential to every Christian song?

Gsus

Why are Republicans so insistent on a war in the Middle East?

Because its good Christian values to invade the Middle East.

What's the difference between a catholic and and a catoholic?

One is devoted to following to rules laid down by those who consider their will that of the divine. The other is a type of christian.

What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car?

A convertible.

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What is the difference between a Muslim baby and a Christian baby?

Their parents.

What's a Christian's favourite guitar chord?

G-sus

How do you starve a right wing christian?

Hide their money in their bible.

What do you call a team of Christian mutant superheroes?

The A-Men

Why can't you checkmate a christian?

Because they're all pawns and their king doesn't exist.

Which Christian denomination knows the most about dinosaurs?

Episcopaleontologists

What does a dyslexic Christian worship?

Dog

What do you get when you cross a dove and a serpent?

A Christian...

What do you call an all guy Christian party?

A suseJ fest

What do you call a christian crawdad?

A Prayfish.

What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty?

Faith lifts

What do you call an Atheist at a Christian fancy dress party?

A cross-dresser.

What do you call a Batman that leaves church before its over?

A Christian Bale

What does a Christian terrorist say before blowing up?

JESUS HALLELUJAH

How many Christian women does it take to change a lightbulb?

nun

What do you call an actor who converts to Judaism?

A Christian bail.

What do you call Batman skipping church?

Christian bail.

What happened to the Christian family when they didn't pay their exorcist?

THEIR HOUSE GOT REPOSSESSED!

Why do dinosaurs use Christian dating sites?

Because they can lie about their age!

What's a Christian's favourite chord progression?

G,Esus.

Why do Christian bands only record with Pro Tools?

Because they don't understand how to use Logic or Reason.

Who needs whips and chains?

Christian should have had Ana read Fifty Shades of Grey if he wanted to torture her.

Why did batman leave church?

Because Christian Baled

What do Batman films and religious farms have in common?

They may have a Christian Bale in them.

How do I big it?

Silly dad, the internet told me all you have to do is be a Christian.

Why could Neo from the Matrix never be a Christian?

Because he has his own Hole-y Trinity -I'll see myself out

What do you call a Christian who fell down the stairs?

A couple of steps closer to their final destination.

What do you call a Batman that leaves church early?

A Christian bail

What do you get when a Catholic priest baptizes hay?

You get a Christian Bale

What is it called when Batman wants to leave Church early?

Christian Bale.

Why do Christian figureheads not like science?

Because it's about two Adams bonding.

What sort of perfume do snakes prefer ?

Poison by Christian Dior !

What do you call a Christian who visits shrines?

A roamin' Catholic.

What do you call Batman if he leaves church?

Christian bail.

What's a Christian's least favorite typeface?

A: Helvetica, it's the fount of all evil.

Who was the nose's favorite Christian mystic?

Nostrildamus

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Guy Jokes More Guy Jokes

What do you guys think of message boards?

I'm all forum.

How many of you guys experienced this?

Damn! I don't have spare keys either.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What happened when Isaac Newton met the apple?

He found the apple was a surprisingly down-to-Earth kinda guy.

Where did the farmer find his missing baby horse?

In the foliage.

Islam Jokes More Islam Jokes

Why shouldn't ISIS be destroying ancient Mesopotamian buildings?

Because it's frowned upon in Islam to smoke ziggurats.

How does a muslim close a door?

Islams it.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and dead babies?

I didn't lose my virginity in the back of a Lamborghini.

What's the difference between a baby and an unwanted baby?

One's a rugrat, the other's a regret.

Argument Jokes More Argument Jokes

What do you call it when two high people get in an argument?

A pot roast.

What did the debater say after getting stabbed during an argument?

Good point

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

Why did the mathematician call his dog Cauchy?

Because he left a residue at every pole.

What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?

A Doberman puncher!

Mormon Jokes More Mormon Jokes

What do you call an alcoholic Mormon?

An oxymormon

What's the most confusing day in a Mormon home?

Mother's Day.

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What did the man in the "Race for a Cure" say to the three people beside him?

we're walking four abreast."

What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb?

I have made a grave mistake.