Why do I need the life vest?

Me: If you have to ask, you might not need one.

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What did Shakespeare say when asked how his wife keeps things interesting?

Anne hath a way."

How can I buy the New York Times?

He replies "Ask my wife. She'll tell you how you do it.

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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: "Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"

Why do we need to be learned English?

Hmm.. Couldn't have worded that better myself, Luke"