Manual Jokes

Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

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Why did Soviet dictator always drive an automatic transmission?

He was always Stalin in his manual!

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

What kind of car did Jesus drive?

a manual.

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D Jokes More D Jokes

What does your mother and a neckbeard have in common?

They both love Ten D's

Why is the Computer D Drive always sad?

D:

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is a black mans favorite Halloween costume?

Robbin Hood

What do you call a girl who likes men with small d**ks?

Your girlfriend!

Stalin Jokes More Stalin Jokes

What do you think about the Russian military intervention in Krimea?

I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.

Why did the Soviets decide to be Russian?

Cuz they got tired of Stalin.

Rename Jokes More Rename Jokes

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

How is that even science fiction?

They might as well rename it "Downton Abbey."

Gun Jokes More Gun Jokes

Why can't the cops keep calm and carry on ?

Because they carry guns instead

What kind of guns do bees use?

BeeBee guns

E Jokes More E Jokes

Why can't you e-mail a photo to a Jedi?

Because attachments are forbidden.

Why was the hen banned from sending e-mails?

She was always using fowl language.

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

Why didn't the girl ride her bike to go water the neighborhood flower bed like usual?

Because the pedals fell off.

Why doesn't Kirk like to have one-night stands?

Because the girls always cling on him afterwards.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do you know if a woman is hot for you?

When you stick your hand in her underpants it feels like you're feeding a horse.

What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quicksand?

Quatro cinqo.