Why did the soviet plane crash?

It was stalin

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Why did the Soviets implement 5 year plans instead of 4 year plans?

Cuz they were stalin'!

Why didint Stalin like his new IPhone?

It had a 5 year plan

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What was Carl Sagan really trying to say about the brain?

In Soviet Russia, consciousness regulates the cerebral cortex.

What does a soviet call someone with good vision?

Glasnots.