What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

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Why did the monster stop playing with his brother?

He got tired of kicking him around.

What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

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What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

What do you call a monster with a wooden head?

Edward.

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What do you call a monster with two wooden heads?

Edward Woodward.

Why does Edward Woodward have so many Ds in his name?

Because if he didn't, he'd be called Ewar Woowar.