How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

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Hold Jokes More Hold Jokes

How many surreal artists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three, one to hold the giraffe, and one to put the clocks in the bath tub.

How 'bout this one?

Salesman: Sir, we've been over this, I don't know how many McNuggets it will hold.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you ?

My Wife... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why do hurricanes have women name?

Because they take away your house, your car, your furniture and everything you have.

What do you call a dead chicken that's haunting your house?

A poultrygeist

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is long and hard on a Newfie?

Grade 1.

What do you call 5 black guys around 1 white guy?

A family friend paying a visit.

1000 Jokes More 1000 Jokes

What do you call 1000 lesbians with guns?

Militia Etheridge

What do you call 1000 emo kids at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

Paint Jokes More Paint Jokes

Why did the monster paint himself in rainbow colors?

Because he wanted to hide in the crayon box.

What's blue, standing in the kitchen?

STFU, I can paint my wife any colour I want!

Brush Jokes More Brush Jokes

Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet?

That thing hurts!

What's the difference between a crocodile and a toothbrush?

You can't brush your teeth with a crocodile.

Pollock Jokes More Pollock Jokes

How many pollocks does it take to paint a house?

1 to hold the brush and 1000 to turn the house!

What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock?

Ricky Retardo