What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

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Let Jokes More Let Jokes

How many bitter Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, we've decided to let a man do the job.

When Chipotle says, "Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?

I pause, then say, "Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

What is worse than finding 100 dead babies in a trash bin?

Finding 1 dead Baby in 100 trash bins.

How many SEC football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

1. And they get 3 credits for it.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why does VALVE end with 2?

Because they can't count to

Why is Dracula's favorite subject in school Math?

Because he likes to Count.

Carry Jokes More Carry Jokes

Why did Bill Murray's cameo have a sore back?

It had to carry the new Ghostbusters movie for almost two hours.

What is WRONG with you?

Me: *slowly counting on fingers* let's see... ok... carry the 1... um... That would be everything

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What did the five fingers say to the phallus?

FAP!!!"

Why did the cannibal go to KFC?

He heard it was finger licking good.