How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb ?

1 or 2 ? 1... or 2...

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Why do you want to learn jujitsu?

Person 1: To defend myself. Person 2: Discipline. Me: My girlfriend keeps stealing my fries.

Which phone??

Person 1 : Suggest me a good phone to buy nowadays. Person 2 : Microsoft Lumia 950 XL is good for winters, will keep you warm. Very warm. Person 1 : So what about summers then? Person 2 : Same, it freezes often as well

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How many "All Lives Matter" protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None, because they keep on asking why all of the other light bulbs in the house aren't being changed at the same time.

How many Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Don't know, the pope hasn't said yet. How many Lutherans does it take to screw in a light bulb None, Lutherans don't change.

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Where is the best place for a 1-legged waitress to work?

IHOP

What do 1% of racist people do?

They are making clubs like the KKK The other 99% are hidden here making bad jokes