What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

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Why did the Irish woman only put 239 beans into her bean soup?

Because 1 more would have been 240...

Why should I date you?

Girl - Give me 1 good reason, why I should date you? Guy - I'll give you 69.

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What is Iron Man when he removes his suit?

Stark naked.

Why do objects disappear when you move them twice?

Because you remove them.

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Why is Bernie Sanders' campaign like Jon Snow?

Game of Thrones spoilers) They're both "dead."

What should Bernie Sanders' next presidential campaign be called?

Hindsight is 2020

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Hey, dad, did you get a haircut?

No, I got them all cut.

How does the Moon get its haircut?

Eclipse it!