What does Bernie Sanders say when he gets a haircut?

Remove only the top 1% please.

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1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP... Iwillseemyselfout

How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had?

He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...

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Why did FIFA have surgery?

They had to remove their Blatter.

What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

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Why isn't Bernie Sanders campaigning in OKC?

They're both eliminated and finished second in their conference.

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

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How does the Moon get its haircut?

Eclipse it!

How much for a haircut?

Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head.