What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

What do you call a waffle that's been buried in sand?

Sandiego (The first joke I ever made as a kid)

Pop Jokes More Pop Jokes

What is similar between Spain, Ireland, and the United States?

Their economies falter after a popping of a housing bubble.

Why do pop artists hate shoe shopping?

They have too many ft. *edit for spelling

Second Jokes More Second Jokes

Why Did The Man With One Hand Go To The Shopping Centre?

To go to the second hand shop

What does a redneck do after she bangs her second cousin?

She quits counting.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why are calculators grey and boring?

Cause it's what's on the inside that counts! EDIT: it was a joke guys:(

Why does the little mermaid where sea shells?

Cause the B-shells were too small.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

Which nut could pimp the Prince of Darkness?

Mack-a-Dameon.

How do you grow a cow?

Plant its nuts.

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

Why aren't you studying, Billy?

Billy's Mom asked him, "Well, why aren't you studying, Billy? You have an exam tomorrow!" Billy said, "Because I've already Reddit thrice."

How was your first day of school?

5-year-old: Long. Me: I'm sure tomorrow will be better. 5-year-old: Wait, I have to go back

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

Why can't you lie to an aborted fetus?

It wasn't born yesterday.

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

Ps Jokes More Ps Jokes

What's a golfer's favourite games console?

A PS FOUR!

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....