Where is 5?

Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident. DIE

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Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Where we going?

Will there be food Why do I have to die Why didn't you like my last pic ..

What did Bowie say before he died?

Robin, is that you

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Why did the pig join the Army?

He heard the food was a mess.

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

Where can I find that "4 Out Of 5 People Get Money In Their Birthday Cards" Birthday Card?

I've been checking online with no luck, unless I'm checking the wrong place

How do Alaska CB radio operators say "10-4"?

5-5-2-2."

News Jokes More News Jokes

What do Tim Cook and the iPhone 6 Plus have in common?

They both made the news for not being straight.

Did you hear the news?

FedEx and UPS are merging. They’re going to go by the name Fed-Up from now on.

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

Car Accident Jokes More Car Accident Jokes

What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. EDIT: Spelled "Tyrannosaurus" incorrectly.

Why should you never laugh at thieves in a car-accident?

It could be your car