What day of the week did the 1st calendar day ever fall on?

Do the math! Me: Seriously ! It's 2AM and I'm leading a meeting tomorrow

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's Beethoven up to these days?

Decomposing

How many seconds are there in a day in Africa?

Seconds? They barely get firsts!

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What's the difference between a guy falling from the 20th or the 1st floor of a building?

20th floor fall goes: *Aaaaaah, BAM!* 1st floor fall goes: *BAM, Aaaaah!*

Why did the dog go to the doctor after a tomato fell on his head?

The tomato was in a can.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

What do you call it when you meet somebody in a bathroom at a conference?

Pee-er to pee-er networking (P2P).

What did Uranium-238 say to Helium when they first met?

IDK

Tomorrow Jokes More Tomorrow Jokes

What's the procrastinator's favorite song?

Tooomorrow, tomorrow, I love yah, tomorrow.." (You're always a day away)

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

I'll tell you tomorrow.

Week Jokes More Week Jokes

What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?

A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!

Whatever for?

Fred: Then you'd be in a cast for weeks.

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

What does the flint water crises and Chicago PD have in common?

The amount of lead put into black people. (It was funnier over the radio)

What traumatic event lead to you not believing in god?

Me: oh, um, science.

Math Jokes More Math Jokes

What type of math is dead?

Aerith-matic..

How does a cow quickly do math?

With a cow-culator! (Rimshot)