Why did I rob the bank?

For Fundsies! I made that one up yesterday so I really hope nobody has heard it before.

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

Who run da world?

points mic at me* ME: having briefly heard the song once before ...squirrels

What's joke #1?

THIS IS NOT A JOKE I'm sure you all have heard the joke where has a number for each joke and that everyone just remembers the numbers instead for typing out the jokes. This always made me think "What would joke #1 be?" What do you think it'd be?

Bank Jokes More Bank Jokes

Why does Bank of America not have a backspace on the ATM keypad?

Because America is never wrong.

What do you call it when a group of ghosts rob a bank?

A polterheist.

Hope Jokes More Hope Jokes

What is every young ladys ultimate Disney fantasy?

To sit on Pinnochios face and hope he tells lies.

What's Justin Timberlake's favourite Microsoft Word alignment?

Justified. (NB Sincerely hoping that this is actually original)

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

Rob Jokes More Rob Jokes

What did the body-builder say after his house got robbed?

No whey...

What is a guy who rubs bear toes called?

Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!