Military Jokes

What branch of the military are horses in?

The NaaaaayyyVY

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What do you call promoting a broom to the highest rank in the military?

A Sweeping Generalization.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why are there so many more men in the military?

Because ladies go in first.

What branch of the military did the hipster join?

The Salvation Army.

What do you call black people in the military?

Geurrilla warfare

Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

Why Did The Military Take Over Turkey?

To Prove They Were Not Chicken

Why don't american have a bullet train?

They use the bullets to train the military.

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What do you call a sapling in the military?

An Infantry! (Infant tree, a sapling is a baby/young tree Ah forget it!)

What does the scientist say when asked if Invisibility Cloak will be applicated by the military?

Yes, but you won't see it any time soon.

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

Whose the most vague person in the Military ?

General Direction.

What does the US military and a fart have in common?

Air Force

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Why Aren't SJW's Allowed In The Military?

They are too trigger-happy.

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What's the difference between a PhD in math and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family of four

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Me: Math

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What do you call Turkish President, Recep Erdogan, after the military coup?

Erdogone

Why can't you have military coup in Russia?

Because in Russia the military coups you.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane?

A pilot you racist

Why were the people in the twin towers mad?

Because they ordered pepperoni, but all they got was plane.

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Where did you receive your education?

Me: Yale Interviewer: Wow! When did you graduate Me: I yust got out in Yuly

What did the Hebrew's call it when they stopped receiving mana every morning?

mana-pause

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What do you call an internet cafe in Russia?

A cyberian cafe.

Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia?

Because he's snowed-in

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What do you call a Bronie in the military?

A GIbronie!

Why do bronies get so upset about the friendzone?

I thought friendship was magic

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Which would you like, a piano or a motorcycle?

Yes." (Yamaha)

What's better than four roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

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Why did the little pig try to join the Navy?

He loved to sing "Oinkers Aweight"

What did the bunny want to do when he grew up?

Join the Hare Force.