What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?

Boss: I don't know. Guy: I'm not coming in this morning!

Why are people leaving the Ukraine?

I don't know but they sure are Russian.

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

Why did the black man walk backwards?

I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk.

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.

English Jokes More English Jokes

What's yellow and lies in a pond?

Disclaimer: I don't know how well this joke will work in english. What's yellow and lies in a pond? An excevator. You don't think this is funny? Neither does the operator.

What's the most 'Spoken' language on Earth?

Hint: It's not English Spanish.

Military Jokes More Military Jokes

Why are there so many more men in the military?

Because ladies go in first.

What's the fastest branch of the military?

The Marines. When they retire, they're corvettes.

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What did the undertaker say as the coffin fell out of the car?

We'll have to rehearse that."

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

English Language Jokes More English Language Jokes

What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

Year Ago Jokes More Year Ago Jokes

How bad is the economy?

Twenty years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Today we have no cash, no hope and no jobs.

Why frogs don't use Google?

They're angry since Froogle was discontinued years ago!

Draft Jokes More Draft Jokes

Why is there a draft?

Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

How do you write an essay that blows people away?

With lots of drafts