English Language Jokes

What is the longest word in the English language?

SMILES because there is a mile between the first and last letters!

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What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

What's the longest word in the English language?

A native Texan saying, "Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttt."

What is the longest sentence in the English language?

I do."

What are the two saddest words of the English Language?

What party '

Which came first. . . social media or dumb people?

AND which is worse. . . the overdoing of selfies OR not knowing how to use the English language

What's the longest word in the English language ?

Pupil: Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

What are the 5 most terrifying word in the english language?

Five more years of Cameron"

What's the longest verb in the English language?

Smiles. There is a mile between the first and the last letter.

What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Incorrectly.

What is the most awesomely amazing word in the English language?

Anticlimactic

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What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language?

A: "Nobody's perfect!"

Which word is the longest in the English language?

Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters

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Texan Jokes More Texan Jokes

What haircut did the Texan barber recommend when asked?

He couldn't think of anything, and said "I'll mullet over"

Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan?

Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them.

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

How was copper wire invented ?

One copper coin, two dwarves.

Why did God invent economists?

So accountants could have someone to laugh at.

Year Jokes More Year Jokes

What's Irish and stays out all year?

Patty O'furniture.

What do you call a blonde haired skeleton in the closet?

Last year's Hide and Go seek champion.

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Military Jokes More Military Jokes

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Why did the military name it's new drone system "Caitlyn Jenner"?

Because it's unmanned

5 Jokes More 5 Jokes

What can 5 men do that 5 women can't do?

Pee in a cup.

How many gears does a French Tank have?

5. 4 reverse and 1 forward for parades.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What sort of cheese do you use to get a bear to go on a outing with you?

Camembert

What did the stupid ghost do?

He used to climb over walls.

Pupil Jokes More Pupil Jokes

Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Pupil: Because it has four eyes and can't see!

What happened to your homework?

Pupil: I made it into a paper plane and someone hijacked it.