What is an Undertaker's favorite element?

Barium.

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What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Why don't undertakers provide free services?

That would be a dead giveaway.

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What do you call an element found in the ground?

Barium.

What do we do when chemists die?

We barium.