Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the optimistic Chinese guy wish he had multiple personality disorder?

He wanted to be the Changs he wanted to see in the world.

Why does vampire Superman want to go out?

Because he doesn't want to be around the crypt tonight. (you can tell i made that up)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why can't you tell pun jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things literally

How can you tell the pig is a failure as Easter bunny?

By the egg on its face.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How much ice does it take to preserve a dead body?

I ask on twitter because googling it gets people caught.

Why you ask?

If it was any longer it wouldn't be a foot

Military Jokes More Military Jokes

Why can't a soldier look wistfully across the horizon?

Because there are no gaze in the military

How do you know if someone was in the military?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Glaze Jokes More Glaze Jokes

What did the donuts do on their date?

They glazed into each other's eyes

How do you cook a stoned ham?

420F Glaze it Ok I'm leaving

Policy Jokes More Policy Jokes

What did Bernie Sanders say when he found a dead body at a Democratic Party meeting to select candidates and decide policy?

Oh god, a caucus!" cuz he has a new england accent

What's the policy at French morgues?

Baguette and tag it.