How do you make a Cat sound like a Dog?

You pour some gasoline on it, light it on fire and it will go

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you get if you cross a giraffe with a dog ?

An animal that barks at low flying aircraft !

What do you call a dog with lice in China?

Full course dinner

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

What did soviet russians use for lighting before they started using candles?

Electricity.

Why did the light turn red?

You would too if you were caught changing in the middle of the street!

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

What do you call a group of unorganized cats?

A CAT-ASTROPHE!

What did the cat say when it got hurt?

me-OW!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

Why was the driver fired from the destruction derby?

He was accused of wreckless driving.

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

Gasoline Jokes More Gasoline Jokes

How do you make a cat woof?

soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!

What country most despises cars that run on gasoline?

Mad-at-gas-cars!

Pour Jokes More Pour Jokes

What do you call it when water is poured over a clock?

Time dilution.

Why "Trojan" condoms?

Didn't the Trojan horse burst open & thousands of little guys poured out Less than stellar marketing.