How do you make a Cat sound like a Dog?

You pour some gasoline on it, light it on fire and it will go

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Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What does a dyslexic, agnostic, insomniac spend most of his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

How many dogs does it take to change a tampon?

26

Light Jokes More Light Jokes

How long does it take light to travel from the sun to the earth?

Not nearly as long as it would take to travel around your mom.

How did they light their cigarettes?

One man threw a cigarette overboard and the boat became a cigarette lighter.

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why did the cat befriend the dog?

Because the dog let the cat out of the bag! Haha!

Why did the dog chase the bulldozer?

It doesn't like Cats.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a woman who throws letters in the fire?

Bernadette

Why do we live in a society where pizza arrives faster than police do?

Because the pizza guy has consequences for not doing his job correctly. "Oh damn, shots fired!" But not by the pizza guy.

Gasoline Jokes More Gasoline Jokes

How do you make a cat woof?

soak it in gasoline and light it on fire... WOOF!

How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?

About five gallons of gasoline," I replied.

Pour Jokes More Pour Jokes

What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?

Hot cross bunnies.

What color does your skin turn when you pour molten gold onto it?

Au-burn