Hermione Jokes

Why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?

Hermione went alone and was attacked by a troll

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Why doesn't Hermione keep her money at Gringotts?

Offshore investment gains a better return.

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

What did Harry Potter say when he fell down the hill?

Ouch! I Hermione!"

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

What did ron say when he got Hermione pregnant?

Fetus deletus

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Attack Jokes More Attack Jokes

Why was the Lego boxer unmatched in the ring?

He was a master of blocking attacks.

What's the first thing you do when attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go straight for the juggler.

Whip Jokes More Whip Jokes

What is a southern aristocratic families favourite dance move?

The whip

What do you call a white slave?

Whipped cream.

Troll Jokes More Troll Jokes

What do you say if you meet someone from Anonymous in an S&amp?

M club? "Troll in the dungeon!"

What did the troll say to the new user who accidentally made a repost?

Reddit already. Downvote.

Group Jokes More Group Jokes

What do you call a group of kids?

a migraine

What do you call a group of eight cowards?

Octopussies.

Ron Weasley Jokes More Ron Weasley Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What's the difference between a politician and an actor?

One acts solely for money, the other is the actor.

What do you call a fish that's worth a lot of money?

A goldfish!

Girl Jokes More Girl Jokes

What machine should I use at the gym to impress girls?

The ATM

What you you call a girl you meet on Reddit?

You don't.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Whose mother likes rap music?

Yo Momma! My eight-year-old daughter wants to see how many upvotes she can get. Ten-year old brother is interested in downvotes.

Why did the Smackhead kick the habit?

He didn't like nuns.