Ron Weasley Jokes

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

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Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many Mexicans do you need working in the kitchen?

Just Juan.

Why is James Bond's favourite bartender played by Michael J Fox?

He doesn't need to tell him to shake the martini.

Soul Jokes More Soul Jokes

Whats the difference between a woman in church and a woman in the bathtub?

One has hope in her soul, the other has soap in her hole.

What's the difference between a nun in church and a nun in the bath?

One has hope in her soul...

Horcrux Jokes More Horcrux Jokes

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

Whip Jokes More Whip Jokes

What do you call a white guy in an abusive relationship?

Whipped cream.

Why do black men make such good husbands?

Because they're already used to being whipped.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What do you call it when a German hits you with a loaf of bread?

Gluten Tag And when a hippie hits you with a loaf of bread Flour power And when a lot of people do it at the same time a rye-ot

What time is it when five dogs are chasing a cat down the street?

Five after one.

Hermione Jokes More Hermione Jokes

Why didn't Harry Potter want to date Hermione?

Because he likes to Hit it and Quidditch

Why was Harry Potter hufflepuffed after his date with Hermione?

She wouldn't let his ravenclaw slytherin her Gryffindor.