Horcrux Jokes

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

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What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between an Engineering student and an Arts student when tying their shoes?

The arts student gets a mark for it.

Who Conquers All *obviously, this is read in the man's grizzled voice* What's the difference between your mother and a motorcycle?

When I ride a motorcycle... I wear protection.

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them?

WASWAS.

How does a woman destroy a mans pride with 4 words?

Is it in yet? How does a man destroy a womans pride with 4 words? I don't know.

Voldemort Jokes More Voldemort Jokes

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Ron Weasley Jokes More Ron Weasley Jokes

What did Ron Weasley do the first time he saw Hermione naked?

He whipped out his wand and yelled, "***Shtupify***!".

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

Tyrion Lannister Jokes More Tyrion Lannister Jokes

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How old is Tyrion Lannister?

A: Peter Dinkl-age

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

Why doesn't Stephen Hawking need a wife?

Because he has his own shoulder to cry on. Edit: all credit goes to /u/Earleebird who posted it in a comment in /r/oldschoolcool

How long do black women need to bring the garbage out?

About 9 month.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter?

Me 5: Me: Get some coffee

What does Harry Potter say when he wants a cigarette?

Tobaccio

Virginity Jokes More Virginity Jokes

What does a girl from Arkansas say when she loses her virginity?

Get off me paw, you're crushing my smokes."

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.