Voldemort Jokes

How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue. (...I'll see myself out)

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What do you call a bad riddle?

Voldemort

How did voldemort look like when he was hiding in albania?

Pretty gaunt

What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise ?

Voldetort.

Why does voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.

What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Hor-crocs.

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

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What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

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Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

Why do bananas get all the ladies?

Because they have appeal

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

What are seals made out of?

Cealls

Why did a seal go to the bar?

Because he didn't want to go clubbing.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between an event at the X Games and a sorrority?

One is a bunch of Cunning Stunts

What's the difference between Madonna and a bowling ball ?

You can only fit three fingers in the bowling ball.

Attract Jokes More Attract Jokes

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Where's my Spiderman costume?

I want to wear it to the science museum "In your closet, why " 9: DUH. To attract radioactive spiders!

Tyrion Lannister Jokes More Tyrion Lannister Jokes

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How old is Tyrion Lannister?

A: Peter Dinkl-age

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do Native Americans wear jock straps?

TOTEM POLE

Why do brown women wear red dots on their heads?

Because they record everything. (I swear I made it up n I'm brown too)

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

When do cops blow up and destroy shopping centers and Walmarts?

During Black Friday.

What can stop supervirus from destroying humanity ?

Batvirus ( stolen joke xD )

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

How does the author of harry potter descend a mountain?

On foot, how else? JK Rowling

Whats Harry Potter's favorite way of going down a hill?

Walking... JK Rolling