What did they tell the most famous child actress from the 30's when she tried to audition for a role in Harry Potter?

Shirley you can't be Sirius.

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Try Jokes More Try Jokes

Why couldn't the philosopher make a living?

He made no sense. I tried, I really did.

How many black people are needed to change a light bulb?

One less now, because the one who tried to steal the light bulb was shot by the cops.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

I can't tell if i like this blender...

It keeps giving me mixed results.

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

How did Harry Potter get down the hill?

By walking...... JK Rowling

What did Hagrid say to Harry Potter after Harry had a mishap with some potions?

You're a lizard Harry!"

30 Jokes More 30 Jokes

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

How did Helen Keller break her hands?

Reading road signs at 30 MPH

Role Jokes More Role Jokes

What do you call an actor from Alabama that is forced by contract to play a certain character in a production?

Role tied.

Why did the milk cow want the role of the camel in the nativity play so badly?

She thought she was a dromedary.

Audition Jokes More Audition Jokes

What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?

If you break a leg, you get cast

What's the worst advice you could give an actor right before an audition?

Just go in there and be yourself."